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PukingToreador

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[Jul. 30th, 2013|09:41 pm]
PukingToreador
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I got a bicycle pump for Captain Karkat (since my last pump got stolen).

(I can't decide on a name!)

(Crap now I want to paint my bike red and paint the quadrants on it goddamn but I can't arggggghhhh)

Also I live really close to a proper bicycle shop which is nice. I'm going to get some gloves, lights, and get her set up proper once I get the scratch together.

Also, after working for exactly a week, I've been written up. I basically on probation because I'm rude. I'm not master of social interaction, and I often don't realize how my tone affects people. So I have to be more aware of that if I want to keep this job.

To be honest it's getting hard for me to care. I don't mean I'm going tell them off and storm out or take a giant shit on the prep table on my next closing shift. I don't mean I'm not going to try to stop pissing everyone off.

I just mean I don't care if I keep this job or not. Because I can probably get another one after this. Or if I can't, my father will probably take me back in, and I can get a job in Gig Harbor and focus on paying off my student loans. It's part apathy and part experience. I don't have much confidence about anything, but if there's anything I know how to do, it's get shitty jobs. Maybe my real cutie mark is baseball cap and a polo shirt.

It's getting harder to care about things. It's also getting harder for me to eat. That last thing is weird for me. Normally stress and depression makes me eat a lot. Anything I eat has to be super salty or sugary for it to even be barely edible. I got a jar of my favorite pickles today, and they just tasted like shit. Healthy food tastes like shit. Junk food tastes like shit. I'm still forcing myself to eat because I know if I don't I won't have energy to work and everything will just get worse.

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