PukingToreador's Festhall

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 21:35:02 GMT

Levi: Hey, look, here's a picture of Clive Barker's husband.
(Shows me a picture of Clive Barker, another man, and a dolphin in the water)
Me: Clive Barker is married to a dolphin?

Speaking of Clive Barker, I'm reading Galilee right now. Pretty good stuff. As much as I like his visceral body horror stuff (The Hellbound Heart, Cabal, most of his short stories), I think I like his doorstopper fantasies (like Imajica) more.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:44:34 GMT

I recently read in The Straight Girl's Guide To Sleeping With Chicks, "You can't hit a woman with a dead cat without hitting an erogenous zone".

I'm now thinking if I get a girl in my bed I'm going to have to murder Sparky and start beating her with him to get her warmed up. And hunt down stray cats and keep them in the freezer for when I have company over.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 00:06:11 GMT

On Monday I heard back about my background check, and I'm happy to report I'm in the clear. Guess they didn't find my pron. I have not yet started work and I am not yet on the schedule, but I have a job and that's pretty good.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 21:38:51 GMT

Would rule 63 Revolver Ocelot be Venus in Spurs?

I still haven't heard back from Domino's, but I'm hopeful things will work out okay. I checked in with the man that hired me today and he said he hasn't hear anything and they will call me. But I think I should hear back from them by Friday since the background check probably actually started on Friday with Thanksgiving and all that.

In the meantime I've been preparing to look for work in the event that things fall through with Domino's. I made myself a "professional" (no puking, no toreadors, no draggincawk, no tentacles, no space lesbians, no MSG, no MGS) email account for resumes and job applications. I also heavily revised by resume by borrowing a book on the subject at the library. I suspect part of the reason I have had trouble finding work is because I did nothing in the months leading to graduation to ready myself for the eventuality.

I've been watching a ton of porn lately. The most interesting one's so far are Wordsworth, a fairly plotty generic fantasy story about two tribes that have been at war for a bajillion years over who broke the plot device tablet. The plot device tablet is said to have vast powers, but it can only be read by someone who has the blood of both tribes. The other noteworthy one, Nymphs of the Stratosphere, is freaking weird. In the future, there will be vagina-less girls with wings sticking out of their heads, who can teleport short distances at will, and, um, have self-lubing backdoors.

I said to my soul, "Be still, and calm the fuck down"

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 21:30:13 GMT

I will not be officially hired by Domino's Pizza until my background check clears, which could happen as early as today or as late as Monday. I don't suspect any hang-ups since I'm not a criminal, a drug addict, or a member of any U.S. Special Forces. But I hate this stalled out energy I've been carrying around since I got the job offer, knowing that I may or may not be able to make rent for January.

Between the job offer
and the first day of work
Falls LASOMBRA

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Mon, 23 Nov 2009 18:07:16 GMT

I was offered a job yesterday. It's at the Domino's Pizza that's five minutes from my house by foot - if I decide to take the scenic route.

I'm not in the "yippie!" stage yet, because I'm beset by fears that something mess things upbefore I get to the orientation on Tuesday. Things like a hitch in my paperwork (despite the fact that I have everything), the man who gave me the job finding my livejournal and realizing he made a horrible mistake, or me being attacked by thugee stranglers on the bus ride to the orientation.

But I'll hope for the best and keep my hands at the level of my eyes.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:36:43 GMT

I made a little money today helping a friend's mom watch some 2-3 year olds for a few hours. I felt a bit out of my depth but the kids were actually pretty docile and quiet. I walked them to the bathroom, gave them food, and was terribly interested in the puzzles they put together. One of the girls got rather attached to me and insisted on sitting in my lap during story time. She seemed mostly fixated on my nails.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:06:09 GMT

I am most postive I bombed my interview at Abercrombie & Fitch. Admitting that I don't know anything about clothes probably didn't help. The guy next to me said, when asked what his friends said about him, starting going off about how he used his knowledge of the products to help increase sales. All I could think of was "Really? That's what your friends say about you?"

I don't think asking someone what their friends say about them merits an honest awnser, at least with my friends. Most of my friends would say I'm stupid, crazy, smelly, have no inner censor, obessed with sex, whiney, and yet somehow appealing enough to hang out with in spite of all these flaws.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:42:35 GMT

I've started my NaNo. Journey to The West except everyone is human and girls and in modern times. I don't know if everyone is going to be gay yet,but Sun Wukong and Xaunzang are probably going to develop a warm and fuzzy romantic friendship at least.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 22:24:32 GMT

Sometimes I think I prefer to be alone. By "alone", I don't mean single, I mean completely alone. I don't have to be afraid of making anyone angry or awkward or sad. I don't have to try to divine what they want or don't want from me. I don't have to worry about what I want from them. There's been plenty of talk about existential angst but what about existential peace?

This is probably a horrible idea

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:19:22 GMT

Boku No Urotsukidoji

A Japanese businessman falls in love with a seduces a preteen boy, awakening the child's true nature as the tentacle-laden Overfiend and setting the end of the world into motion.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 23:30:36 GMT

Life is crap.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 04:42:03 GMT

Still looking for work. Wendy's found someone else after they interviewed me. Had one interview at Auntie Anne's. Had one interview at Build-A-Bear. It was a group interview. We made bears (or owls, or whatever) and dressed them up and made up a story for them.

I made Kuma, a Japanese-American bear who teaches martial arts and rides his motorcycle on his off-days. I had to make up another story about my bear (now stripped of his martial arts gear and motorcycle) and he became Fredrick, a retiree who wandered the U.S in this RV and interviewed random people he met. I never decided what he used to do, but I think he was probably a reporter.

Had one interview at BJ's (it's a resturant, really). I'm supposed to call the BJ manager tomorrow at 4:30. Which I mentioned working the kitchens the guy seemed like of eager to have me working as a hostess or a bus person, someone in the front of the store. I suspect this had something to do with me being young, fairly attractive, and female. I'm not complaining, since my previous job experience seems to have little or no pull on my ability to get a job so far.

Joined an Exhalted game on Thursday. I built a night caste thief and it's a bit of change of pace for me. It's still a rogue, but it's not a "I sneak attack you with an battle-axe" kind of rogue, which has been a bit of passion for mine for the last few D&D characters I've played. In fact, the next character I play with D&D will probably be a re-hash of a halfing barbarian rogue I played before. Anyway, still getting a feel for my character in Exhalted and looking forward to Nick's take on Dark Heresy (which involves shoving video game plots into the game and subjecting them to a heapin' helping of GRIM DARK).

I just gotta keep drilling till I find my destiny.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 04:33:49 GMT

I'm real easy to tear apart
Because I've got a perforated heart
But I come apart along the lines
So I snap myself together just in time

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 03:52:43 GMT

I had an interview at Wendy's today. Apparently they spilled water all over a bunch of applications so I was supposed to fill out the application again. I didn't have all the info for filling out job applications on me. Normally I keep the info on a index card folded up in my wallet, but it mysteriously vanished and so I could only fill in things like when I could work. I know I should be more prepared but I was very, very annoyed since I already turned in an application and it made me look like a dumbass in the interview. "Oh, you don't know anybody?" "I have references, I just don't know their information off the top of my head. I can bring in a complete application tomorrow".

Anyway, the manager seemed pleased with my answers ("What do you do when things are slow?" "Ask if there is anything I can do. Look for things that need to be done". "Oh, good, that's very good.") I have a follow up interview tomorrow at 5:15. I need to made a copy of my social security card, food handlers permit, and ID in the event I do get hired. So I'm a bit excited and nervous.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:17:13 GMT

Feeling like shit at the end of a perfectly alright day. I see the claymore and walk right into it.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:14:42 GMT

Does anyone know of any retail or food service places in Tacoma that are hiring? I worked at Subway for a year and a month and my food handler's permit is still valid.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:40:09 GMT

After I beat Metal Gear Solid:

Levi: You died one hundred and sixty eight times?

Me: Shut up.

Levi: I think you died too many times.

Me: Shut up.

Levi: I think you died too many times...

Starting looking for work finally. Applied to the Subway close to the house and the Subway by the mall. I'm printing out applications at the the library. Oh, and they have the next two books in the Temeraire series, Black Powder War and Empire of Ivory. I'm halfway through Black Powder War. Muslim dragons! Whee.

Writer's Block: Last Meal

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:26:47 GMT

What do you want your last meal to be?

View 503 Answers

Va-jay-jay. Om nom nom.

The real answer is a lot of sushi and Chinese food: Chinese BBQ pork, kappamaki, ebi, potstickers, and more kappmaki. Also some deep fried ice cream and leftover pizza (does anyone else thing that takeout pizza is better after it has sat in a fridge a while?).

Also, the brain of my executioner. So Yeah.

My crush from last year is running for student union. Heh.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 04:46:12 GMT

Please give your official statement on why you would like to become a GU Representative:

Foster more effective communication between the student body and the TESC administration. I am hoping to become a GU Representative in order to create a Union, which seriously considers the qualms levy against the school’s administration. I will work toward making our process and decisions as transparent as possible.

Please write what you would like to accomplish next year as a GU Representative:
Establishing more of a tangible connection between the Tacoma and Olympia campuses.

Classic American Lit is Crazy

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Thu, 28 May 2009 23:49:52 GMT

I feel like I need to write As I Lay Dying porn where Darl uses his psychic narrator powers to watch Jewel jack off. Darl is psychic. He narrates events in which he is not there, but are proven accurate by the other characters POV chapters. He just "knows" that his sister is pregant and that Jewel is his half-brother. Darl can also telepathically communicate with his sister, as evidenced with this exchange:

Here is Dewey Dell's Chapter:

"It was then I saw Darl and he knew. He said he knew without the words like he told me that ma is going to die without the words...But he said he did know and I said 'Are you going to tell pa are you going to kill him?' without the words I said it..." (pg. 27)

Here is Darl's Chapter:

"She just keeps on saying Are you going to tell pa? Are you going to kill him?..." (pg. 40)

Also, Darl's mother can foretell the future.

Here is Cora's chapter (The Bundren's super-regilous neigbor):

"'He is my cross and he will be my salvation. He will save me from the water and from the fire. Even though I have laid down my life, he will save me.'

'How do you know, without you open your heart to HIm and life your voice to HIs praise?' I said. Then I realized that she did not mean God." (pg. 168)

Guess what? When the wagon over turns as they try to ford the flooded river, Jewel keeps the coffin from falling out of the wagon. When Darl sets his mother's coffin on fire and the barn that it is also catches fire, Jewel runs into the fucking barn and gets the fucking coffin out.

As I Lay Dying is about psychic hicks. Incestous/dead/pregant out of wedlock psychic hicks. That my story and I'm sticking to it. When you're forced to focus on a text for five weeks straight, you've got ot find some way of keeping yourself interested.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Thu, 28 May 2009 11:27:10 GMT

It occurs to me that it would be way too easy to adapt the Berserk-verse to Dark Heresy ~~and play Guts as a Guardsman~~. It's a feral world with a strong ties to the warp.

Bored.

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Sat, 23 May 2009 05:26:00 GMT

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by 
              the gaze of an umber hulk

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by 
              4chan

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by 
              mind flayers

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by 
              we're no strangers to love

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Sat, 23 May 2009 00:29:39 GMT

I saw the best minds of my generation consumed by 
              zombies, starving hysterical naked...

pukingtoreador@hotmail.com — Wed, 13 May 2009 19:38:00 GMT

Dreamed Judah had a wife, and Judah and Erin were out buying fish nets to catch tentacle monster's with.